Overcoming Toxic Relationships Through the Spirituality of Mahabbah as Taught by Rabi’ah al-Adawiyah

Abstract

The phenomenon of toxic relationships among the younger generation indicates that love is still often understood as possession, control, possessiveness, and emotional dependence; therefore, a spiritual foundation is needed to guide relationships toward greater health and dignity. The study employs a descriptive qualitative approach with a field research design supplemented by a literature review. Primary data were collected through semi-structured written interviews with five students aged 18–25 via WhatsApp in July 2026, while secondary data were derived from relevant academic literature. The data were analyzed through condensation, presentation, and the derivation and verification of conclusions. This study aims to: 1) analyze early-adult students’ understanding of healthy relationships and toxic relationships; 2) examine the concept of mahabbah from the perspective of Rabi’ah al-Adawiyah; and 3) explain the relevance of the value of mahabbah as the basis for spiritual education in building healthy relationships. The results indicate that healthy relationships are grounded in trust, communication, respect, a sense of security, honesty, and mutual support. In contrast, toxic relationships are characterized by possessiveness, control, manipulation, verbal abuse, and emotional dependence. Rabi’ah al-Adawiyah’s concept of mahabbah is relevant as a spiritual foundation for cultivating a love that is divine, non-transactional, sincere, mindful of boundaries, non-dominating, and respectful of human dignity.